I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
