We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
