He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
