I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
