so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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