i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
