Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
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