i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
