p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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