my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
