Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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