all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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