Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
be right there i have to get my cape
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
