We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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