he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i just had sex bonerless
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I don't deserve a penis
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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