Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize