She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
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I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
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I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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