So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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