I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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