youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
