When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
