just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
