Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Do you remember whose house we're in?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
