Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
