I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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