once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
