k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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