Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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