What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize