CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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