Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
