i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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