It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
