that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
