Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
