Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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