I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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