Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
We don't watch enough power rangers
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
