so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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