My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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