i jhust puked up my retainher.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
