apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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