Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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