Where is the hickey?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
