Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
