glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize