he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
