2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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