Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
