Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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