I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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