can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
