i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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