Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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