Taylor Swift is so right about you.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
did i just pee glitter
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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