I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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