why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
