Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
