ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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