Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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