kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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