can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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