That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
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