she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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