So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
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